Men vs women: Why We Cannot Understand Each Other (Part 1)
Men vs women: Why We Cannot Understand Each Other (Part 1)
Trouble Communicating With Your Partner? Do you feel as if you and your partner do not understand each other? Do your arguments seem to go round in circles without finding a resolution? It could be down to the fact that men and women come from two different worlds!
Many couples struggle to communicate with each other at the best of times. They end up in arguments due to the smallest misunderstanding of what has been said. However, if couples were able to pinpoint the ways in which they communicate ineffectively, they can then learn ways in which to communicate that work best for their relationship. The first step in doing this is to understand that men and women truly are from two different worlds!
The Biological Side:
Boys who underproduce testosterone are likely to have the spatial abilities of an average girl and girls who overproduce testosterone are likely to have the spatial abilities of a young boy.
Research has also linked agression in men to genetic makeup.
This can impact on the level of agression that a male or female can have. However, environment and experiences in life can also have an impact on the behaviour of men and whomen.
Gender Identity:
Think about your childhood. What films, TV programs, did you watch? What toys did you play with?
If you were a girl, it is very likely that you watch shows about dancing, dolls, princesses, or tea parties. If you are a boy, it was likely that you watched shows geared towards action, trains, trucks, and adventure.
Society gives us a sense of our gender identity and most people will adhere to these ideas and norms.
However, they also have an impact on how we react in situations. We move through life with the expectation that men and women should act a certain way and engage in specfic activities.
Gender Norms:
The way in which girls and boys are expected to play and learn life lessons is also very different.
Boys can be expected to get over a conflict easily and move on. Boys learn to be a provider for their future families and learn independence.
On the other hand, girls are taught how to end to the home (cleaning and cooking), and are shown how to raise a family and be the mother of the household.
Society is moving away from these stereotypical gender roles but they still remain in our subconcios for many of us.
Learning Emotions:
Its no secret that men and women express their emotions differently, Ask a man and a woman to explain how they are feeling in the midst of a conflict?
The male ma use words such as annoyed, stressed, defensive and tense. The female may use words such as hurt, sadness, overwhelmed and heartbroken. Notice the difference in the tone of the words used.
Boys are tought to be emotionally strong and crying is interpreted as weakness. Independence is valued as well as solving a problem as opposed to dwelling on it.
Girls are allowed to be more emotionally expressive. In fact, girls are likely to talk about emotions with their mothers - unlike their male counterpart Depending on others is .comendable.
So How Does This Effect Us In Adulthood When In A Relationship?
From the points above, it is no wonder that as adults we can sometimess struggle to communicate and understand our partners of the oposite sex. If we are growing up in a seperate world and learning different ways of living, expreessing emotions and expectations, it is also possible to see a conversation differently from our partner.
Men and women have differences during adulthood in the way they prioritise their relationship, their satisfaction level in a relationship, and differences in the way in which they deal with conflict.
...next week!
We have seen how our biological makeup, gender identity, gender roles, expectations, and emotional expression differ between the sexs. But how does this impact on our relationships as adults. In next weekls blog, we will conclude with the 3 differnt ways that men and women view their relationship!
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